...rambling stuff, to be ignored

Monday, January 19, 2009

A peculiar few days. Not odd peculiar, just peculiar in the sense that I've been left in a slight state of dithering.
Head full of problems that require solving, things I've done , should have done, things that are being dumped on me at a moments notice, problems that wont go away because currently I don't have the resource to solve them.
Slightly buzzy mind is what I think I'm trying to get at.

I'm finding work desperately frustrating at the moment.
Periods of idle thumb twirling where I cannot proceed or prepare any further with anything, but with a gut wrenching knowledge that in a few weeks time my working world is going to explode into a frenzy of new projects that all need to be completed simultaneously.
I know now that the scope is beyond my capability given there's a resource of just myself now.
The waiting seems such a waste of lead in time that could simply be put to a better use.

Normally I wouldn't let this get to me, but despite my better judgement it is.
Playing mind games & nagging at me.
I'm all too aware there are greater pressures for performance at the moment. We are all pretending to ourselves that the current situation is purely just hype built up by the media. Well that maybe true to an extent , but the knock on effect of this seem quite apparent.

I don't perform , we don't get the work. Work is not scarce, but good design projects that suit are becoming a premium . Smaller companies being able to undercut where they once feared to tread.
A reduced work load being considered is already leading to potential redundancies with the staff.
All a bit of a bugger. Not really a burden I'm happy with.

My usual stress outlet , go sailing.
Forget it all. This was denied last weekend. The water too hard.

This weekend was another frantic rush around trying to fix a broken car. Not so easy when you cant move it to get it fixed. A week of borrowing & swapping around vehicles so life could function normally has proved a bit of a logistical chess game.

Going out on the Saturday night always has it's own unique set of stresses. Girly stresses that come in so many unexpected forms & catch me unaware.

Maybe running down to the London ship show on Sunday did not help things much.

Staying at home, maybe giving myself a little downtime to relax & reflect should have been a better option.


alan said...

In all of the frantic rush, all of the stress, all of the fretting of things to do or not, may you find a moment to catch your breath; a moment of your own!