...matter over mind

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Last months holiday was, it seems; a little more difficult for me than I imagined it would be.
Too much time to ponder can be a dangerous thing. Even more dangerous when you don't come up with any satidfactory answers.

I appear inwardly to be so full of contradictions, while outwardly trying to maintain an elaborate deception to my self & the world at large.

I was in a situation I should have enjoyed , sailing around, meeting interesting folk, seeing new stuff.  All good,  but in a very masculine environment. 
As I stated previously, I missed the girl.  I can't fully explain the feeling.  I felt I had put up a massive facade for a few weeks.
Not that it is not generally there, but it felt more intense than normal.  
I think I just missed being me. 

Returning to home & to work has been a bit of a blur.
The relief. The re-acceleration from almost total wind down.

...,but the absolute distraction has been intense also.

Can't get her out of my head.