...to be resolved.

Friday, December 28, 2007

The following is a Christmas moan , so please switch off now:


I don't know what it is about the Christmas & new year break.
It's the one time of the year I get an enforced holiday when it's often the last thing I want or need.

One of my favorite Douglas Adams titles just about sums up the break for me.
"The long dark tea time of the soul"
Of course he was referring to days past when 4 O'clock of a Sunday was the most mind wrenchingly dull time to possibly be conceived.

I think it's because I've got to that point in my life when all my friends are busy with their young families, my family is mostly abroad or living hundreds of miles away & I'm lurching about not really knowing quite what to do with myself.
What I would normally dismiss as boredom is suddenly twisted into a feeling of not fitting in to my slot in the big scheme. So I'm unable to take a full role.
Human contact means ,I get bombarded with a whole string of tales of why things are so frantic & why there is so much to be done, which just leaves me with further confusion.
Something I'm missing or am a little too inept to see what all the fuss is ?
Truth is I just find it all a little frustrating. I don't fit with the cult of couples & so feel awkward when out & on my own.
I don't fit in with the married with children groups, although my friends are always so welcoming I feel a little awkward imposing myself.
I don't fit with my parent, although we get along we move at tangents to each other.
Every one has this common goal that we should be enjoying ourselves, but its pretty hard when there's not real slot into which to sit & join in properly.

Ive come to the conclusion that my habit of taking off on my own for long beach walks if possibly not the healthiest solution to my situation.
I tend to get all too introspective and analytic.

perhaps my new years resolution should be to :

a) Get a grip.
b) Possibly get a better perspective .
c) Address the girlfriend situation, toot sweet.


Anonymous said...

It was a good moan, and it ended on a positive and constructive note, so that's allowed.

2008 has big things in store for you. How do I know? The Norfolk Fairy told me. :-)

Pandora Caitiff said...

Amen, sister!

Lara Tyg said...

Yep , Im going for the whole saccharine, positive vibe this year.
Fluffy bunnies & sunshine
Last moan. No more inner journeys & certainly no independent thought.

I shall join the Norfolk Fairy in the sea next year, swim & be free.

Happy new year to You both :O)

(...I cannot be held accountable for any of the above statements.)