...pecking disorder

Friday, February 20, 2009

I had what can only be described as a peculiar evening during the week.
Being in a bit of a state of fluster from the days goings on I had had a complete crisis of confidence before I went out and had done the cowardly change back to beige mode.

Setting the scene. This particular Wednesday evening is not a regular night , there were only a few folk around in the pub, most of which I knew, and none of the following has any bearing on them, they are still all nice , decent folk whom I genuinly like.

The evening starts while I'm sitting in the dark corner in my black mood, half a guiness & nose in a book.
I was almost going to stay in the corner with my drink & book, but I finally wandered over & said hello, for fear of being considered rude.

Now the evening was peculiar to me in a number of ways .
The first being , I had not been into the place in male mode since my mid twenties . This really felt a little out of place. The odd feeling you get when you don't belong some where, or you've entered some where your are not supposed to be.

The second was the interaction with folk.
I'm not saying I was ignored , but & this may only be my perception. I felt a certain cooling toward me. One of those evening where you end up listening to conversations while staring at peoples turned backs no matter.
During the night there was a small group, sat around in the upper bar. 4 trannies, 1 TS , 1 pre-op TS, her boyfriend, one genuine girl & her boyfriend (friends of tranny) & myself.

Just watching & observing.
The trannies seemed happy to chat to one another, GG & boyfriend. Slightly cooler to Pre-op & her boyfriend.
Genuine girl seemed really quite chatty with trannies, the boyfriend insisting on calling his friend by male name. No harm seemed to be meant by this that I could see. (although I did note a few corrections during the night)
Genuine girl & boyfriend were pleasant , but there was an element of sneering at TS & boyfriend
Pre op TS , didn't really seem to interact with trannies , but was all over GG but ignored her boyfriend.
Pre-ops boyfriend didn't really interact with anyone except Pre-op & the other boyfriend.
& no-one really spoke other than casually to the non-dressed tranny...me.

....,but here's the odd thing , the same could be said for Ms TS in the room too.
She also had had a sudden crisis & had come in male mode. I can't say I saw anyone in deep conversation with her during the evening, where I know she normally sits chatting quietly often nervously with mostly anyone.

I'm not sure what this says about social hierarchies, pecking orders or what ever you make call it
.How & who people decide who they feel that can interact with. I know I cannot have explained the situation well or in any great detail, but it was for me a little uncomfortable.

I have since pondered, trying to figure out what the social interactions were all about and have come to no real conclusion, other than I'm sure I would not have been so aware, or felt so out of the loop if Lara had been the observer & not Sim.


Pandora Caitiff said...

Hierarchy suggests some are better than others (which we know is not true). Instead think of the different social circles as circles in a Venn diagram. Some circles cross, and some do not. Some of us belong to more than one circle, and some stick to their own.

Lara Tyg said...

Maybe hierarchy is too stronger word, but there is a definite change of attitude dependent upon percieved gender.
Mind you I rather expact alot of this is in my head.

I shall make up for my blip this week hopefully Sat night, thurdays 'talent' show at the wheel & Friday night at Future Couture.
See what difference a day makes. :O)

Pandora Caitiff said...

Its probably not all in your mind. Some things are easier to see from the sidelines. Those on the field get a narrower view!

Sounds like a busy weekend there! Have fun :)

Jess said...

I don't think I can add much to that analysis of the pecking disorder, a good name for it, which seems rife in trans world online and in person.

You'd think we, of all groups, could rise above it?