Friday, April 11, 2008

Rotten about sums up how I feel at this very moment

I had to walk away from work again today & just be elsewhere completely away from it.
A couple of times now Iv'e got to a point where my head is so full of details, deadlines & problems to solve that I honestly feel I can't think. Just a fuzzy mess. Cant figure a sequence, cant even see the problems properly.
I know I'm making mistakes & I know I'm being irrational, but I've just hit this wall.
Wall of white noise thoughts.

I probably made a mistake tonight . I decided to keep the date I had set to go out, even though I was in two minds about it.
Anyway I got ready. After fiddling about & making sure every thing was just right I bolted out the door, to the car, drove to the pub.
I made it to the bar door & just froze & paniced.
I just turned around I came home.
I still don't know why yet.
I know it's not a trans issue.

To be honest I don't know what the fuck I'm doing at the moment.


Anonymous said...

Aw, wish I could say something that would make you feel better. :-(

If you're ever in need of someone to splurge out those thoughts out to, I'm at the end of an email pipe!

Pandora Caitiff said...

Sometimes a shitty patch can spill over into all aspects of your life and ruin them.

I hit a rough patch in my old job and was rude and cold to my friends and family, apathetic about all my interests, uninterested in leaving the house for non-essentials, and generally no fun at all.

Book some time off, or confront the problem, or get a new job, or whatever seems best after considered thought. (I went with get a new job)

Anonymous said...

Thank you both, the holiday is in a month until then I'll try not to explode or let fly at anyone.

I think it's purely just the absolute frustration of loosing 4 out of my 6 member team & not being able to replace them. Trying to compensate a loosing battle.
Friday I just needed vent. Walking away is not a terribly noble answer & not one I would normally prescribe to, but I guess stress is a peculiar thing. I think I took the measure just to step back & try to get some perspective before it got any further grip on me. I shall see come Monday.

I write on the spur of the moment occasionally . I think Friday was one such moment. We shall see.
Que sara.