tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-388846572024-03-05T16:47:34.258-08:00Blurred linesLara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.comBlogger184125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-41571063098792699962016-05-13T13:18:00.003-07:002016-05-13T13:18:43.544-07:00Self.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ1GA88aLRRwggnY3UI9b5Vg3OPFqFZxvW1YOetno2MzdviQ9QD86Qk9u8n-Vsf4vGsKFCnNP2uDlz4R7oxV9Bf4UBoG9XrtvQxW25K_AHI88E8MXb_yagX26lF9irFFHuyzN0/s1600/20160506_145941.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ1GA88aLRRwggnY3UI9b5Vg3OPFqFZxvW1YOetno2MzdviQ9QD86Qk9u8n-Vsf4vGsKFCnNP2uDlz4R7oxV9Bf4UBoG9XrtvQxW25K_AHI88E8MXb_yagX26lF9irFFHuyzN0/s320/20160506_145941.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All spects of my self consciousness have to date been driven by my gender ambiguity.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Adding this new disability to the mental mix helps my state of mind little.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
so its rare I will post a photo of myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I just liked this <span style="color: red;">o</span><span style="background-color: white;">ne.</span></div>
Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-73185061056622862332016-04-28T10:31:00.000-07:002016-04-28T10:31:12.016-07:00...Laras CatAn explination in prose : -<br />
<br />
On the hearth lay Lara's Cat.<br />
It coughed up fur. It hissed. It spat.<br />
It scratched & bit , Clawed the Curtain.<br />
Ate the Budgie,<br />
Though that's not certain.<br />
And all the while it mewed & purred<br />
deep inside it evil stirred.<br />
<br />
Curled up in the morning gloom<br />
the cats cold eyes scanned the room<br />
Planning mischief, havoc, play<br />
to break the boredom of the day<br />
And all the while it purred & mewed<br />
deep inside it evil stewed.<br />
<br />
Lara's cat raised to it's paws.<br />
Arched it's back , stretched it's claws.<br />
Rested, happy & content.<br />
Flicked it's tail & off it went.<br />
and all the while it lurked & prowled<br />
deep within it evil howled.<br />
<br />
...and after a while<br />
<br />
Lara's Cat spied the bed.<br />
Lara slumbered at it's head.<br />
With one deft leap she reached the sheets.<br />
then slowly, quietly began to creep.<br />
From deep within the sound of laughter<br />
as evil followed ever after.<br />
<br />
Lara's cat, motions slow<br />
She bared her claws & crouched down low<br />
Waited for the perfect moment<br />
to make a play , a deadly movement.<br />
and all the while, deep within<br />
Evil smiled it's Cheshire grin<br />
<br />
Lara woke & saw the mog.<br />
smiled & gave the puss a hug.<br />
"Good Cat" said Lara, "Good Cat" she said.<br />
stroked her fur, rubbed her head.<br />
And deep within the badness quelled<br />
as evil vanished and sin dispelled.<br />
<br />
The moral of this tale is that,<br />
there were two sides to Lara's cat.<br />
In public a cute and furry mog.<br />
,but deep with in an evil thug.<br />
....and inside me, Well Lara resides<br />
My resident evil and my other side.<br />
<br />
Take from this tale what you will,<br />
If your inner self is hiding still<br />
Be it good or full of sin<br />
If it grows without or lurks within.<br />
Take some solice and peace in that<br />
We're all no different from Laras' cat.Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-53032697267640838532016-04-28T08:49:00.000-07:002016-04-28T08:49:00.335-07:00April 2016<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnEOrI6jCXTyyFoH_Loqa8tF3JZcpTvEqgF9-nlUvFtn9hEGOmEECBjc01FhkWYafD9w3GisOqzrzAg8xRG2PLKVpRjDnoc42eDj8MikNwC6btACBJlUpB9tSxkb2QwVoyOp2D/s1600/20160428_141837.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnEOrI6jCXTyyFoH_Loqa8tF3JZcpTvEqgF9-nlUvFtn9hEGOmEECBjc01FhkWYafD9w3GisOqzrzAg8xRG2PLKVpRjDnoc42eDj8MikNwC6btACBJlUpB9tSxkb2QwVoyOp2D/s320/20160428_141837.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
Six weeks after major sugery I am attempting to move about a bit more and hopefully put some weight back on.<br />
<br />
I don't think it's only the effect of the damage surgery has upon the body, but the dramatic loss of weight makes me feel at odds with my self.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-62054915770178131762016-04-26T07:28:00.001-07:002016-04-26T07:28:42.102-07:00Current time.Times moving on.<br />
I'm pretty sure no one reads blogs any more. There are too many alternatives and too little attention span for such things in these times.<br />
This is more for my outlet now.<br />
<br />
Life moves on again.<br />
last year I lost my mother, closest friend and confidante.<br />
She confided in me a few years ago she was aware of my situation in life and told me it didn't matter to her.<br />
That was my coming out, one I had dreaded all my life. As simple as that it was done. Weight lifted.<br />
For that and a million other things I loved her and miss her deeply.<br />
<br />
The year after my somewhat estranged father also took me aside, said he knew and that it was okay.<br />
<br />
I feel I have been luckier than the majority of my friends to have such love and understanding.<br />
<br />
To loose part of that understanding feel now like a step backward.Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-14439105860107853822012-04-08T08:54:00.001-07:002012-04-08T09:16:55.404-07:00Identity<div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAL8_D4OQR1C-9QtIHnYDBD1KOddogMshiL35DgfpG50b6ypmtpF-RcYZlzyB6aAwyqnGsAbIfgHMzmjwpB__PVblMxAHpSzQAHNozTFq2AZAgmu9sZiUUvEXpUdGjyTPmshts/s1600/poppy_0666.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAL8_D4OQR1C-9QtIHnYDBD1KOddogMshiL35DgfpG50b6ypmtpF-RcYZlzyB6aAwyqnGsAbIfgHMzmjwpB__PVblMxAHpSzQAHNozTFq2AZAgmu9sZiUUvEXpUdGjyTPmshts/s320/poppy_0666.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><br />
I've been in a strange place recently which I believed to be unique to myself, except for a couple of chance conversations had with friends & extended family members. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Since the babies birth I & ,as I later discovered my partner, have been suffering a form of identity crisis. </div><div style="text-align: center;">One of simply loosing ourselves.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Loosing how we identify ourselves & how we think others see us now. Strangely how we see each other. </div><div style="text-align: center;">All this because our lives now revolve around & focus almost 100% on baby. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">For me this feeling extends beyond any conflicts I have. Male/female irrelevant.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Currently none of that exists. Maybe doesn't matter. I'm one nor the other, just a parent. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I feel whole facets of my life, my personality, my being have been stripped & swept aside to leave just this two dimensional person. </div><div style="text-align: center;">No frills , just function.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Conflicting in as much that it feels so empty yet so fulfilling.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">But I / we are not the only ones it seems.</div><div style="text-align: center;">How many times I've heard now from friends that this is how they have felt too.<br />
How they just identify and are identified as being someones Mum, with their own persona erased. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm not to sure if this encouraging or not. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I guess we need to change & adapt.<br />
I may selfishly feel this harder because it's taken me so long to get where I was, but I doubt it.<br />
I'll be there for her. I'll absorb this for myself </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I would <span style="color: red;">n</span>ot change things for the world.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihDiaRSEW_WkrwN9nWEgXYaAnjoMAzltomhp1HIhtrgHvaSzi7Sc74RuXpcAmxqjeLAaoubdo65vtpIIONC-AsTZ348K5tD7SFPH8mPgJvgqW4_NrWh90ulKppPhpj-Q-d95qf/s1600/poppy_0678.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihDiaRSEW_WkrwN9nWEgXYaAnjoMAzltomhp1HIhtrgHvaSzi7Sc74RuXpcAmxqjeLAaoubdo65vtpIIONC-AsTZ348K5tD7SFPH8mPgJvgqW4_NrWh90ulKppPhpj-Q-d95qf/s320/poppy_0678.jpg" width="320" /></a></div></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-67592146836003473002012-03-28T23:30:00.000-07:002012-03-28T23:30:13.890-07:00:O)<div style="text-align: center;">My beautiful daughter was born 25-2-2012.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I am so very happy.</div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-76715926833783147852011-12-31T06:07:00.000-08:002011-12-31T06:07:31.917-08:00New times<div style="text-align: center;">Things have moved on so much for me in the last two years. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Wonderful thing's, frightening things, anxious times, fantastic moments. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Good friends, a little more acceptance of my situation, a most of all wonderful new partner. All have helped life move on to a happier place.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Have I come to terms with myself ? </div><div style="text-align: center;">Maybe a little more. Still not without reservations, but I can't change my discomfort with my self fully just like that. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">New questions are now raising however. I've always held to the belief I would not intentionally hurt any of my loved ones due to what I perceived in the past to be my oddity , my selfishness, my condition.</div><div style="text-align: center;">More people know of me now. There is a little less anxiety in my life, but my premise still holds. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I don't want to let my life effect others around me detrimentally in any way. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">My <span style="color: red;">d</span>aughter is due in March. A twist in my life I never expected to happen. Which makes life so, so wonderful , but suddenly so complex for me. </div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-16669423335531360792010-07-13T23:41:00.000-07:002010-07-21T10:11:02.342-07:00...Glamoflage<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/55968225@N00/4785899201/" title="Parading ! by laratyg, on Flickr"><img alt="Parading !" height="333" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4137/4785899201_bfd5ffcbdb.jpg" width="500" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/55968225@N00/4790793166/" title="Glamoflage by laratyg, on Flickr"><img alt="Glamoflage" height="500" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4122/4790793166_455db05a4a.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">Glamoflage . The art of hiding in public spaces by being overtly fabulous.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I joined two very public parades this weekend. one sensible , one quite silly.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Of all the thousands of people that lined the route did anyone I know spot me ? </div><div style="text-align: center;">Well they haven't said yet.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Bit disappointed really.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Perhaps my theory of Glamoflage really works ? </div><br />
<br />
<br />
<object height="340" width="560"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/UEUFSpbSiYY&hl=en_GB&fs=1?color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/UEUFSpbSiYY&hl=en_GB&fs=1?color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<object height="340" width="560"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/gfSxEWNdzog&hl=en_GB&fs=1?color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/gfSxEWNdzog&hl=en_GB&fs=1?color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">OMG I look like a drag queen. Told you it was silly :O) .</div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-45116996525388519732010-06-03T10:44:00.000-07:002010-06-03T10:44:46.515-07:00...spoilsport<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq__EDnuxmet8P1aYorXjQ8tSAx7l07SE-AFWbT_DtjteE5g3FKlRuhG-59708Wqs2nvXUyKBlndhXYfdrEzh7j8mP5qOL0KpWbTi0jMIuMiBceA3UrFPeVuWnlAzhUMc14dG0/s1600/Balloon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq__EDnuxmet8P1aYorXjQ8tSAx7l07SE-AFWbT_DtjteE5g3FKlRuhG-59708Wqs2nvXUyKBlndhXYfdrEzh7j8mP5qOL0KpWbTi0jMIuMiBceA3UrFPeVuWnlAzhUMc14dG0/s400/Balloon.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><h3 class="UIIntentionalStory_Message" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="text-align: center;"><span class="UIStory_Message">My lunchtime doodle for those whom have had their <span style="color: red;">g</span>ames spoiled to day.</span></h3>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-52985420985888025352010-06-01T09:48:00.000-07:002010-06-01T09:58:58.609-07:00...truths<div style="text-align: center;">A note for myself. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Hopes</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I could keep those close & dear to me</div><div style="text-align: center;">I can just get on with living.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I don't change who I am.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Acceptance from friends & others alike. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I can carry on doing the thinks I love.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Remove the mental deadweight.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Loose the stress</div><div style="text-align: center;">Settle the mind, attain some sort of inner peace & learn to like myself.</div><div style="text-align: center;">To remove my duel ID & all the complications that arise from it.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Inclusion </div><div style="text-align: center;">Strength</div><div style="text-align: center;">Confidence</div><div style="text-align: center;">Love</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Fears</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Loosing family.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Loosing friends.</div><div style="text-align: center;">What if I'm wrong</div><div style="text-align: center;">My aesthetics.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Being selfish.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Remaining outside society.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Lonliness.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Coping with change & my already fragile confidence.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Work </div><div style="text-align: center;">Loss of security</div><div style="text-align: center;">Loss of direction.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Unless I can remove the fears, I dont think I shall ever move on.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">:O( </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-84823546003579337102010-05-30T01:34:00.000-07:002010-05-30T01:34:48.293-07:00...better than James Brown<div style="text-align: center;">Woke up the morning feeling good despite the gloomy weather.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Combination of things I think </div><div style="text-align: center;">Meeting a few friends in town yesterday helped my mood. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Always better when I feel I'm not so alone in all of this. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Had an interesting experience yesterday.</div><div style="text-align: center;">The human Library was open for a day in Norwich.</div><div style="text-align: center;">A change to take people 'out' as an open book on an element of their lives.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Basically a chance to get an insight into a persons life how it has affected them , changed them , moulded or wounded them. Its rare I get to do this with a stranger. People are fascinating, & those passionate about something even more so. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Unfortunately not a lending library :O) </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-43914908563615502952010-05-25T11:02:00.000-07:002010-05-25T11:02:14.047-07:00...sailors return<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdrXYGi4LJ4eNXEYeYlZ2xx20uAVXbeh_udlUhyphenhyphenMD5xWq-zzZpiWKZHRh26mRHqWCOZez0osDgq4SXS2uX_7GmlU0YryLfnfq4xb-21MJGF8pyvnOjuKsbUqDPwnVwssew9nhm/s1600/holiday5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="340" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdrXYGi4LJ4eNXEYeYlZ2xx20uAVXbeh_udlUhyphenhyphenMD5xWq-zzZpiWKZHRh26mRHqWCOZez0osDgq4SXS2uX_7GmlU0YryLfnfq4xb-21MJGF8pyvnOjuKsbUqDPwnVwssew9nhm/s400/holiday5.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Returned from holiday on Sunday.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Wonderful time & all that goes with it.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Good sailing , good people, good food . Maybe a touch too much food, but well restrained on the wine & lots of walking to make up</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Don't think its post holiday blues, but I'm left just feeling a little empty with it all.</div><div style="text-align: center;">The nagging self doubt & all the baggaged rubbish that goes with it is maybe peeking it's head above the parapet again.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Which is ok. I'm learning to deal with that. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I question my self all the time about the course I steer, but I'm trying my best not to wine about it to people these days. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">So feeling my way abroad.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Well there was no question she wasn't coming with me on holiday . </div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm not sure how I could leave her at home now. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Not something I can turn off just like that.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Only tone down the external references. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Not for my sake.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I do try to think of others (maybe too much). Being on a yacht is a small and uncomfortable place if even one person is upset. So the rule is don't bring baggage to the table to rock the boat.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I never know how folk will react to me. Something I still learning to gauge.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">So two weeks in plain shorts & tee shirts. Being ambiguous in my look.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I often said I don't need to dress outwardly . It doesn't change me. Just helps with a little confidence.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I still may look a little curious , shaven smooth , long hair, long nails, plucked eyebrows etc, but I was only questioned the once & then it was by another crew.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">In the end a workable compromise was fine & why should it not be. I've not gone full time, I compromise most days.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I think the empty feeling has arisen from having to contain & compromise my self for a longer period & being ok with that.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">If I can do that when pushed , then can I actually be content with where I am.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm I kidding my self ? </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBiCUEGgZ3_09U6jACsMqyEUxYBn2P78g46i81AdAuY-_8vzND6TQD2uhkiTr3ieb_RWTd40dR22gu00fUM8WNDJK-3QWGwQniTZb7dp9P6oXwEO7h2BHMV9VqS6eFoC1xMC-D/s1600/hols4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBiCUEGgZ3_09U6jACsMqyEUxYBn2P78g46i81AdAuY-_8vzND6TQD2uhkiTr3ieb_RWTd40dR22gu00fUM8WNDJK-3QWGwQniTZb7dp9P6oXwEO7h2BHMV9VqS6eFoC1xMC-D/s640/hols4.jpg" width="427" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-74063825741537729012010-05-04T15:37:00.000-07:002010-05-04T15:37:53.879-07:00...people<div style="text-align: center;">Ok . It's been a fair while since writing.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Not that I haven't done anything in that time, but its all been said before so no need to go over old ground.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I have, it seems, settled into a comfortable rhythm in my life.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Totting things up, if indeed Indeed to keep score, it seems I'm spending about 40% of my time outwardly presenting as her.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Inwardly. well. That's just me what ever the time. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">But its people. People around me now. I'm meeting so many new folk at the moment . </div><div style="text-align: center;">Just being out and about in general. Not hiding away. </div><div style="text-align: center;">All walks of life , different ages & backgrounds. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Not all who have been exposed directly to my specific life choices or similar,</div><div style="text-align: center;">but then why should they be ?</div><div style="text-align: center;">Expecting folk to just be accepting is I feel a little naive of me. If not a little selfish. </div><div style="text-align: center;">So far though this has been a good thing. It seems that; despite my feelings to the contrary most of my life; people are on the whole pretty nice to be around. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I spent years not really interacting. Not really joining in socially. Keeping to a small number of close trusted people, which I think may have generated a very narrow view of the world. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Things are opening up for me. New Ideas. New scope.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I cant say its bringing answers to my situation , but it's opening my eyes to show me I'm not the only one that is; in a manner of speaking; displaced in what is considered normality. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Its giving me a little more confidence that I should not worry so much about it though.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">I have to add , that coming election has done one thing. Got people talking, which really helps gauge where they stand. Surprised me in many cases too. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">So people. I might actually learn to like them soon. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/55968225@N00/4514924193/" title="Photosunday5 by laratyg, on Flickr"><img alt="Photosunday5" height="379" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2107/4514924193_c0df8e38f6.jpg" width="500" /></a><br />
<br />
</div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-86905854018806531132010-03-20T11:26:00.000-07:002010-03-21T12:18:56.363-07:00...being abstract<div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXPJ6ASyn-dkNIcw4di-V1V2RhD6mShKwyF42fmYir9gZRoxhNPqZCAs2aiGvuuaTxDZbJjknifeHlkFuGVjJxj7bnFWWhH1W2voUyh8E-Hi5xfs_4-Q4ZYknYmSwyso9PBBrR/s1600-h/Offset.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXPJ6ASyn-dkNIcw4di-V1V2RhD6mShKwyF42fmYir9gZRoxhNPqZCAs2aiGvuuaTxDZbJjknifeHlkFuGVjJxj7bnFWWhH1W2voUyh8E-Hi5xfs_4-Q4ZYknYmSwyso9PBBrR/s320/Offset.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
So Where do I fit ? <br />
<br />
Outside Convention, But who writes convention ?<br />
Outside Society, but who’s society ?<br />
Outside the lines, well who paints by numbers ?<br />
Outside the box, but not out of mind.<br />
<br />
Between the sexes. Not at all.<br />
Between genders. Genetic barriers are taller than any prison.<br />
Between Ying & Yang. It’s a fine line between confusion & happiness<br />
Between worlds . There’s only one world for those who choose to see it.<br />
<br />
Without Identity. Ego, I & Id are within.<br />
Without definition. Am I out of shape ?<br />
Without consistency. Maybe a solid failing.<br />
Without a clue. Mysteriously no.<br />
<br />
Beyond the norm’. Normal is so dull.<br />
<br />
So where do I fit? <br />
Only in the space that is left by me. <br />
Nobody's perfect.</div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-69709172580524917782010-02-18T10:19:00.000-08:002010-02-18T10:19:13.163-08:00...can there be too much fun ?<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/55968225@N00/4361075496/" title="Another Cliche' by laratyg, on Flickr"><img alt="Another Cliche'" height="500" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4053/4361075496_596e0dbc08.jpg" width="354" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">Blimey . Too many nights & days out this week. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's <a href="http://www.norwichpride.org.uk/">LGBT history</a> month in Nowich this month being successfully run by the Norwich Pride folks.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Which means so many things have been going on. Invites to this & that . Side events that are happening in coincidence with it all. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">All a bit of a whirl. 8 or 9 nights out in the last two weeks. Not good for the tummy line , not good for the purse & I'm sure I'll have to go to confession at some point.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Good for the soul though :O) </div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-60525957259297663592010-02-14T13:53:00.000-08:002010-02-14T13:55:32.357-08:00...another year.<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jellyhead/4356795033/" title="New among the old by Plutos the Bubbleman, on Flickr"><img alt="New among the old" height="473" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2787/4356795033_4e6533a2ef.jpg" width="500" /></a><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">Changes for the new year.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Not resolutions. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Not intentional.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Just the way things turn out.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I've pretty much stopped drawing.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I've gotten out of the habit of taking my camera everywhere.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I haven't spoken to or seen a number of friends so far this year.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I've hardly picked up my guitar since the new year.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I seem to have lost any spark of enthusiasm and creativity that I may once have glimmered.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I've just stopped going sailing, which I adore.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's not that I never intend to do any of these things again , but if I were to define the root of this all I would say that my work has just knocked ten bells out of me at the moment & I can see no let up.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">On a positive side I'm comming out of my self a little more. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Lara's probably out on the town a little too much at the moment, but getting out of the routine ruts, being varied and doing so much more on my own. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Possibly due to confidence be a little higher & the need to escape from life a little at the moment. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Still a lot of conflict with what I'm doing , but I'm slowly trying to deal with that now.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/55968225@N00/4356031878/" title="yellow3 by laratyg, on Flickr"><img alt="yellow3" height="500" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4052/4356031878_eb23cdb21b.jpg" width="308" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<br />
Oh .It looks like Blurred lines is 3 years old on Tuesday.<br />
Time flys.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-14627763745762915882010-02-07T09:34:00.000-08:002010-02-07T09:38:51.986-08:00...weird week<div style="text-align: center;">A weird week. Yes & no. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/55968225@N00/4334649928/" title="Glow Havana by laratyg, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4015/4334649928_6e6fe8d37e.jpg" width="500" height="410" alt="Glow Havana" /></a><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">I had a few things I needed to pick up for a party I had been invited along to on the Friday.</div><div style="text-align: center;">So I ran into town, from work, during lunch time to see what I could find</div><div style="text-align: center;">Not that this is a problem . However this was the first time in fully male mode. Which I must say really felt uncomfortable. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Shopping in female mode I've done a number of times now , Never any awkwardness about that. This situation seems so clear to me. My attitude now tho that is "This is how I'm presenting, accept it". In male mode there was this guilty feeling rife in the back of the head that I was invading foreign space. Sorry mate you no longer belong here no matter how you feel. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Got though it. Odd though.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Found what I wanted, pink & black accessories. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Wedensday started out with a meal at a local restuarant. </div><div style="text-align: center;">When & say local , I mean 200 meters from home local, which was fine. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Decided as it was a bit chilly , trousers , jacket & flat shoes were the best idea for the evening . Then in a typical momentary change of mind went with pencil skirt & heels . All well & good until the moment I steped out of the door & down came the snow . The dilema was should I stay or should I go ? . Decided to go for it & walked pretty briskly for someone on heels to the venue. Only slighty white & damp when I arrived. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Met with a couple of friends, the place was mostly busy. Not sure what the party of parents & children made of us three. Nothing was said. so all I guess was ok. </div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">Good meal , good chat , the world according to T put right once again. Soft revolution plans formed over soft drinks. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Next time though I think I'll chose the venue & make within veiw of my friends bedroom window instead :O) </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Popped out to the pub one evening , a few friends milling around. I somehow get talked into doing a talent show spot for the LGBT history month in tmy fine city . Kind of whished it was just all talk. These things catch up with us though.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Friday night. Now here a was an odd evening . </div><div style="text-align: center;">This was the party to which I had an invite. My friend Di was comming along to so we agreed to meet up at my house , get changed & ready prior to hitting town. </div><div style="text-align: center;">The theme for the night was just 'Trash party' , the dress code Bizarre Circus. New York Club Kids. Grotesque Burlesque and CyberDog. James St. James. Party Monster. Club Freak Show. Leigh Bowery. Beyond Drag and most of all TRASH!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/55968225@N00/4334119857/" title="Havana L&D by laratyg, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4018/4334119857_8fd66b1ce7.jpg" width="278" height="500" alt="Havana L&D" /></a><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">Erm not my usual , but sounded fun. So I had been putting together a whole overthe top pink & black gothic satin & lace affair together Starting to worry that Ive get to be in public like this for a while . </div><div style="text-align: center;">Never mind. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Di had come in a full neck to toe , arm to finger tip zebra print cat suit. So we were going to look as odd as one another which made me feel strangley better. </div><div style="text-align: center;">We wet to meet up friends at their shop first , drinks & finish getting ready. Out party now numbered 5. Every one in the spitit of the night . It was going to be fun :O) </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/55968225@N00/4334122073/" title="Havana in with the sin crowd by laratyg, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4028/4334122073_51b230e0cc.jpg" width="500" height="354" alt="Havana in with the sin crowd" /></a><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">Walking up the road, the strange crew stopped off of course at the most male dominated Friday night cheap Weatherspoons drinking hole that could be found.....well just for the hell of it. Its supprising how accepting folk are of a whole group dressed outragously can be. No problem.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/55968225@N00/4334866012/" title="Havana Fran by laratyg, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2729/4334866012_0538d98d34.jpg" width="351" height="500" alt="Havana Fran" /></a><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">Onto the party .</div><div style="text-align: center;">Sigh of relief . Were not the only ones dressed. </div><div style="text-align: center;">It was bing held in a public club though . Not sure what the main clientel made of us all. Again though , no problems . The music loud , plenty of UV glow sticks & trash dancing the night away . </div><div style="text-align: center;">Good fun , not sure dancing on soft furnished podiums was a good move , but I survived anlkes intact. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Top night . Will certainly do another trash party.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Saterday. Di had grabbed the spar room for the night . The day started slowly. nothing much to do . Another day to be spent in girl mode though . Di went off shopping in town . I just had to recover my camera from the shop. </div><div style="text-align: center;">No really good photos from the night before. As the addage goes , no photos , so did the event happen ? </div><div style="text-align: center;">Well, not all lost I had my small , nasty camera with me . Not great ,but it did a job. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Si I had agreed to meet up with Di for the evening . same routine. Drop round to the flat , get ready go off to teh function. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Di too had been talked into the TGBT Talent show the night before. Not enough time for her to sort out her keyboard , but opted to sing instead. I wasnt alone . My lackluster agreement to do this thing seemed now to be set . No choice .</div><div style="text-align: center;">Dressing a little more sedately than the previous night & had to lug guitars & amps to the pub . Dicide what I was to do & try & set up . Kill the nerves & figure how to make this as painless as possible. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Well , not only have I never played in a dress before. I've never played to a crowd of more than 2 before let alone a packed pub waiting to be entertained. Anothe r couple of firsts to tick off the list. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Much fretting about fretting on stage. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Of course they wanted me to go first & kick the whole thing off. Arg no. I could happily have walked out then. & should of. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Little things that go wrong can have a dramatic effect on you. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Having to reset the amp at the last moment to suit the P.A. didnt help. Setting up while the DJ would turn the music down didnt help. Changing my mind at the last moment & playing something completely different didnt help. Standing playing instead of my usualk sitting & playing didn't help . My guitar strap beaking once I had started didn't help, pulliung the jack plug out when ~I went to retrieve thestrap didn't help at all. So when I resumed , confidence was shot & I was a bit all over the place. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Having said that , great relief when it was over. Let me get on the enjoy the rest of the evening. Di was quite pleased she was up next so she could do the same I think. As nevous as I & this is someone who has performed on a bigger stage before. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Oddly I didnt win :O) </div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">Sunday. Girly shopping day . </div><div style="text-align: center;">New shoes skirt , fair bit of window shopping & changing room invasions. All good.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Nice to have some one to go along with for once. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Di was out looking for a new dress for an Anti valantines day next week. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I was happy that the shoes were only a pound more expensive than the parking :O) </div><div style="text-align: center;">Enjoyed that. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Afternoon tea I John Lewis & home. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Good week .</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-66919932496071890662010-01-25T10:10:00.000-08:002010-01-25T10:10:44.352-08:00...MK dons a dress<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/55968225@N00/4300580620/" title="MK IV by laratyg, on Flickr"><img alt="MK IV" height="500" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2737/4300580620_0a9bb77456.jpg" width="291" /></a><br />
<br />
Another varied week. <br />
On Saterday I find myself being asked to do wedding photographs for a friend. I had to point out that my ability with a camera is pretty limited & wouldn't really be fair on the couple, but it looks like I may be doing it in conjuction with a photographer friend of mine. This will be a first. Eep ! .<br />
After an evening out on Wedensday I find I have agreed to do catwalk for friends of mine who run their own Couture fashion business, to be combined with a charity event being run by the local City College. Eep too!<br />
Begs the question should trannies do fashion shows, not sure how seriously other folks involved will take this. Oh well.<br />
<br />
Friday I made a bit of a snap descision to travel down to Milton Keynes to attend the Angels 10th birthday party. <br />
So to start with I took Friday off work (relief) & went shopping in the city center. Thought I would go & find something new for the evening. Anyway a fair bit of looking aroud, couldn't find a thing that leapt out at me & shouted 'buy me' ,or if it did, then of course it stopped at size 12. Curse my frame. So a bit of an empty start......well apart from raising a few eyebrows which always makes me smile.<br />
So I jumped into the car. Sensible flat driving shoes for once & comfortable outfit( as pictured above) & off I went.<br />
Discovered what a dreadful place Milton keynes was to drive around. Someone seems to have overkilled on the round abouts. Like driving around concrete crop circles.<br />
I had managed to blag a room at the Hilton Doubletree Milton Keynes cheaper than a travel lodge. A big hotel doing luxury rooms for £35 a night with breakfast, whats that al about ? <br />
Ammused my self at flustering the receptionist on her first day in the job, but she was pleasent enough. As were the rest of the staff<br />
Another first for me, hotel booked in her name . No problems.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/55968225@N00/4300576692/" title="MK1 by laratyg, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2799/4300576692_644345c29a.jpg" width="244" height="500" alt="MK1" /></a><br />
<br />
The aim was to go to Pink Punters for the do in the evening. A place I've always told my self was a bit off limits. The idea of a hundred trannies in one place is almost my vision of hell, but in the end was really quite pleasent & casual.<br />
I wanted to just meet a few people I had either spoken to or communicated with over the years, just a hi & hello. Which , with my limited social skills I attempted & failed. I always find talking to near strangers somthing of a daunting challenge. Possibly still the shy teenager left in me mixed with my own brand of awkwardness. I was a bit supprised though just how many faces I seemed to know , even if the names were not there in my head. Dont quite know why that is. I'm not one to scour the internet or spam forums or even use Flickr much these days, but It seems the trans community is full of such varied & lovely people & they all descended on MK this week. <br />
A few new people met along the way too, dinner & a bit of a chat, all in all a good evening. A new experience in what is slowy becoming a more comfortable situation for me. . I'm glad I went along instead of being the coward & dismissing the idea as I so very often do at the last moment. <br />
<br />
No sure I was so happy about the drive home though. <br />
<br />
<br />
</div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-31101073155834693372010-01-24T06:14:00.000-08:002010-01-24T07:14:38.806-08:00...Bubble & Lara<div style="text-align: center;">Another short tune & movie clip I threw together.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Im stopping short of calling this medium trannimation. :O)<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PSX-Kft-ZZo&hl=en_GB&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x402061&color2=0x9461ca"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PSX-Kft-ZZo&hl=en_GB&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x402061&color2=0x9461ca" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br />
<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-2372685938380520762010-01-08T05:57:00.000-08:002010-01-08T05:57:23.215-08:00...when bored<div style="text-align: center;">...do as the bored do.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I don't know what that would be , but I turned to making silly movies while I was at home sickly.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/opO7LiLdc2s&hl=en_GB&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/opO7LiLdc2s&hl=en_GB&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br />
<br />
<object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dNWyPP4zbS8&hl=en_GB&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x402061&color2=0x9461ca"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dNWyPP4zbS8&hl=en_GB&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x402061&color2=0x9461ca" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br />
<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-21624085018404300232010-01-03T02:48:00.000-08:002010-01-03T02:48:43.258-08:00...new year<div style="text-align: center;">The holiday season has come & gone. <br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">That survived & even enjoyed this year. <br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I guess it helps Iv'e been around people this year which has made the difference.<br />
<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/55968225@N00/4219260196/" title="red2 by laratyg, on Flickr"><img alt="red2" height="304" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2534/4219260196_76a73f6f8c.jpg" width="500" /></a><br />
<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">The lead up to Christmas seemed such a blur, so many things to attend , so many dinners.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">It seemed like a whole years socialising had been condensed into three weeks. <br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">This culminated with my first Christmas eve, day & boxing day as her, with the minor interuption of Christmas dinner with the folks. <br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">A hurdle for next year maybe. <br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">New years was just great. Went out with friends & let go a little . Even a little drunk. <br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/55968225@N00/4237286370/" title="MY LBGT NYE LBD 2010 1 by laratyg, on Flickr"><img alt="MY LBGT NYE LBD 2010 1" height="488" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4001/4237286370_363df11747.jpg" width="500" /></a><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Friends alone suprises me. In the last year Iv'e met so many new friends and associates, male female,trans,of all walks of life and social back ground.<br />
This all really just proves to myself that I believe my self confidence has risen a little this year, that I can now interact with folk a little more. <br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I've done some things that may have filled me with dread 12 months ago. <br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm not all the way there yet, may never be but I think i'm progressing at my own pace and managing to maintain a certain level of sanity with it. <br />
<br />
Well thats it for now. No resolutions for the next year. I shall see what I'm faced with & deal with it then.<br />
<br />
<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Hoping the rest of the year shall, like yesterdays stroll, be a cool calm walk in the park.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Wishing anyone who may read any of this the most pleasent of days for the coming new year.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jellyhead/4237398042/" title="Catton Park 5 by Plutos the Bubbleman, on Flickr"><img alt="Catton Park 5" height="334" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2730/4237398042_ffdba2f118.jpg" width="500" /></a><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-17018545486553511702009-12-24T06:41:00.000-08:002009-12-24T06:41:42.921-08:00...acceptance speach<div style="text-align: center;">It has been a week of dinners and socialising on both sides of the coin and in equal measure.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Some good nights, some great & all unique in their own way .<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">People blowing off steam in thier own way which to be honest has little to do with the seasonal festivities. Bit hypocritical really , but there you have it. I'm just as hypoctitical in this sense. <br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Monday night was not a pre-meditated or planned dinner, do or party. I had intended a quiet night in. <br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">There was an open invitation to attend an alternative LGBT carol service, which with my stance on the subject of religion I had given my apologies almost straight away with out much further consideration.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">However , on the Sunday night prior to the event I had been giving this a little more thought.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Here was a group of people making an outward effort to embrace and welcome an element of the fringe community. Offering a little acceptance, acknowlegement. An olive branch. Something we all sectrtly desire I suspect.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I came to the conclusion that if this church can put aside what I would percieve as differences then who am I to reject thier openness without compramise? . A) it would be just down right rude & selfish of me, B) removing any barriers between any section of the community has got to be engouraged surely ?<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">My stance has never been to reject organised religion. I truely have no problem with people having thier beliefs , traditions & rituals. In truth I find myself a little jealous of peoples faith . Something not available to me.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">My problem has always been with the systematic judgement. The I am right , you are wrong element.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I find it a little confusing though with what is essentially the same denomination , how interpritation can allow such a divergence of acceptance within the church.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Here was a group offering that acceptance though.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">So I attended. Memories of my childhood around the fringes of the church & more specifically my old church run school came flooding back. Not terrible moments , but they have been consigned to thier place in my memory.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Part of the sermon was simply about acceptance. Acceptance of people, however they want to live, what they want to believe, how they want to present or see themselves.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Wonderful. Well maybe. I sat & listened and came to the conclusion that this was a call to all present on both sides of the congregation. Here we all are just people get along with each other, but to my mind the mere fact that these folk were there was indication that this was possibly already the case.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Preaching to the converted already.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Baring in mind that prior to walking in through the door, the busy city out side I had been whistled & shouted out at. (which is ok , because trans folk don't have feelings)<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
I seemed to me that, although welcome, the sermon was a little mis-directed. For both groups present who still get dirision from the general populus the focal point of the should not have been toward those inside the walls, but those on the outside. <br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">That said , I did actually feel better for going along. I thank those who arranged this & thank them for prompting me to be a little more considerate. <br />
</div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-44537260413293863042009-12-20T05:23:00.000-08:002009-12-22T10:23:05.404-08:00...another winters day<div style="text-align: center;">No reason to blog these except to pass on the calm that was the <span style="color: red;">g</span>arden this morning. <br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jellyhead/4199281141/" title="Stranger in a strange land by Plutos the Bubbleman, on Flickr"><img alt="Stranger in a strange land" height="500" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2601/4199281141_0c0e414200.jpg" width="424" /></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jellyhead/4199279533/" title="Laden by Plutos the Bubbleman, on Flickr"><img alt="Laden" height="306" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4044/4199279533_04f4e2b1cd.jpg" width="500" /></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jellyhead/4200042434/" title="Pre-melt by Plutos the Bubbleman, on Flickr"><img alt="Pre-melt" height="323" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2778/4200042434_a7de5e6684.jpg" width="500" /></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jellyhead/4199275927/" title="Inhospitable by Plutos the Bubbleman, on Flickr"><img alt="Inhospitable" height="500" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2671/4199275927_941d6f0e3c.jpg" width="375" /></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jellyhead/4205004025/" title="Snowman by Plutos the Bubbleman, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2652/4205004025_971e225972.jpg" width="334" height="500" alt="Snowman" /></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jellyhead/4199293813/" title="Evergreen Crystal tips by Plutos the Bubbleman, on Flickr"><img alt="Evergreen Crystal tips" height="356" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2523/4199293813_d2146cc70a.jpg" width="500" /></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jellyhead/4200028090/" title="Cold stubble by Plutos the Bubbleman, on Flickr"><img alt="Cold stubble" height="311" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2777/4200028090_92a31138a7.jpg" width="500" /></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jellyhead/4200039406/" title="Snow Pig by Plutos the Bubbleman, on Flickr"><img alt="Snow Pig" height="500" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2558/4200039406_96497cec2f.jpg" width="426" /></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jellyhead/4200024638/" title="December shadows by Plutos the Bubbleman, on Flickr"><img alt="December shadows" height="500" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2794/4200024638_a97640a8d6.jpg" width="366" /></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jellyhead/4205005181/" title="Ice by Plutos the Bubbleman, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2658/4205005181_af4440b131.jpg" width="335" height="500" alt="Ice" /></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jellyhead/4200066900/" title="Wavey Davey by Plutos the Bubbleman, on Flickr"><img alt="Wavey Davey" height="500" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2673/4200066900_29d38e7d44.jpg" width="368" /></a><br />
<br />
</div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-36635964034030854272009-12-19T09:42:00.000-08:002009-12-19T09:42:58.089-08:00...brrrrrr<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jellyhead/4197904590/" title="First light by Plutos the Bubbleman, on Flickr"><img alt="First light" height="438" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2781/4197904590_bdc2174086.jpg" width="500" /></a><br />
<br />
First thing today ....<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jellyhead/4197146773/" title="Cold by Plutos the Bubbleman, on Flickr"><img alt="Cold" height="337" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2538/4197146773_6bc763f0ea.jpg" width="500" /></a><br />
<br />
Was cold .....<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jellyhead/4197903438/" title="Stone Cold Perspective by Plutos the Bubbleman, on Flickr"><img alt="Stone Cold Perspective" height="360" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2716/4197903438_180c3604fa.jpg" width="500" /></a><br />
<br />
Giving a fresh new perspective on ...<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jellyhead/4197897466/" title="Brass Monkeys by Plutos the Bubbleman, on Flickr"><img alt="Brass Monkeys" height="436" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2545/4197897466_1b388d4935.jpg" width="500" /></a><br />
<br />
the brass monkeys' chilling <span style="color: red;">p</span>redicament.<br />
</div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38884657.post-29249994956346931072009-12-17T09:41:00.000-08:002009-12-17T09:41:33.761-08:00...make it stop<div style="text-align: center;">Ok , I don't think Iv'e hidden it very well lately that work is getting on top of me.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm sure Iv'e vented and bored my friends rigid about it.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Whole new managements , re-arranging companies, friends & colleagues being made redundant & all the emotional mess that goes along with it.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm still trying to see through the politics of it all & envisage what the overall future plan is.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Whom it involves & where it intends to go.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">All a bit sad at the moment as I was one of the original members that started the company 12 years ago.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">However things must move on .<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">What I can't seem to get & this is the thing that is causing me them most trouble is that people are being let go when there is plenty of work to be done. New & old.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I find myself having to cover 2 1/2 other peoples jobs as well as my own now, which is having an adverse reaction on the quality and quantity of my own works, as well as stress levels.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Awibble <br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Sigh .<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Lara Tyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15677332290027676809noreply@blogger.com0